Firstly, let me once again thank those who read my short story The Bug in the Suit over at Electric Spec and dropped a comment. Appreciated. Secondly, I want to say a few things about where I am with writing at the moment.
For a number of years now I have swung between continuing writing and tossing everything I’ve ever written into some cardboard boxes and simply ‘lofting’ the lot. Chasing dreams can be a tiresome business, it’s true, and after twelve years I may (or may not) be ready to accept I took a wrong turn somewhere. After all, there are other paths…
In recent months, though I have not quit per se I have been woefully unproductive, stuck in a limbo-like state of will-I-or-won’t-I-ness, sedating myself with television and videogames. But it occurred to me yesterday that these distractions are merely putting some soft distance between myself and the decision – to either stop work or work harder.
Stop and I free up a lot of time evenings and weekends to try other pursuits, such as a home-study course, something that might actually get me somewhere – a higher-paying job, security for our children (none yet, but on the horizon). Writing demands a lot of time and mental energy, I find. If I use my spare time to continue writing, there will be room for little else. So, it’s the ole heart-says/head-says dilemma…
Thing is, when I have stopped in the past for any extended period of time the world seemed less interesting, quite tiresome in fact. Writing, for almost as long as I can remember, has been my way of understanding myself and others – of tunnelling through life’s muddy complexities to find sunshine – or moonlight – at the other end. So, arguably, I need it. Whether it needs me is another matter, perhaps even the root of the problem.
So, I have chosen a sensible compromise. I will resume writing, pick up from where I left off a while back, and continue for the next fourteen months, until our next overseas holiday – no better time to reassess things, I think. At that time, if I feel I have made little to no progress I WILL give up the dream. There, I typed it.
Guess I better get to work.
5 days ago